Friendship

This is my very first blog and I kinda am not used to this yet. So everybody just bare with me. This blog is going to be about friendship. Friendships are hard to keep for me. I have had my share of heartbreaks from broken friendships. Almost 2 years ago I lost my best friend. She just went off the grid one day, totally disappeared. It took a long time for me to heal from that. We had been best friends for a really long time. At least, I thought she was my best friend. Maybe for her, that was not true. But anyway, friendships have been hard for me to keep. A promise to always be there means nothing to me now. So many people have said that to me, and none of them are still here. Friendship requires trust and if trust is broken too many times it becomes hard to trust anyone after a while. I have a new best friend, but I am still guarding my heart in case she decides to leave too. Friendships take time to develop and I tend to just jump right in and then get my heart ripped out time and time again. No matter how many times I get my heart broke, I keep jumping right in and trusting blindly. I don’t think I am doing this with my new friend, but I could be. I could be setting myself up to get hurt again. In a way, friendships take commitment. Friendships take work. Some just happen, but most of them take work. Without friendship though, we are isolated and alone and that gives in to depression. Depression is no fun. I have battled depression most of my life. I have tried to commit suicide 9 times. Depression is definitely not fun. Friendships bring about healing and love and joy and sometimes sorrow. But even in sorrow, you can stick together and push on through. I am not saying friendship is the answer to all life’s problems, but if you have friends, it is easier to get through the ups and downs of life. I hope that my new best friend is here to stay, because I don’t think I can handle another heartbreak. Thanks for reading!