Happiness

In looking back on my life, I know the word happy would not have been what I would describe my life to be. I was miserable. I was depressed, angry, bitter, selfish, unforgiving and just overall unhappy. I tried to commit suicide 9 times in my young adult years. I didn’t go 4 months without being hospitalized for depression or suicidal ideation. My life was out of control. I was getting involved in all the wrong kinds of relationships. I was drinking and smoking pot. I was with an alcoholic who beat me. My life was just in shambles. But that’s not where I am right now. I can honestly say that my life is good now. Happy. I have peace in my life and I have a good vision of my future. So please, please, don’t think for a moment that your life is over or it won’t ever get better. I am living proof that life can get better if you just wait. Patience has never been my forte, but I have seen it happen. Seen my life that has been transformed. I have only my higher power to thank. A higher power can be whatever you make it. It doesn’t have to be a God if that’s not your thing. A higher power can just be friendship or hope or love. It can be a treasured item. Whatever it is for you, take hold of it. Believe in it. Put your faith in it. For me, my higher power is Jesus Christ. But I am telling you, you don’t have to believe in a God to have a higher power. You just have to believe that whatever higher power you choose, can restore your life to sanity. I have only my higher power to thank for bringing happiness and joy and peace to my life. It didn’t come right away. It took years. More than 18 years of wandering in the wilderness before I saw a flicker of light. Like I said, patience is not my forte. I fought my higher power tooth and nails for a long, long time. But it doesn’t have to take you as long as it did me if you will stop fighting. If you will just surrender. I promise you, things can change. I promise you that you are not someone who is just forgotten. I promise you that you have meaning and purpose to your life. If you will only surrender. You can do it! Your life matters! You can have better days. Do not give up hope!