Patience

I am getting old..I will be 44 years old in two days! I definitely don’t feel like I am 44 years old. I feel like I am maybe 18-25! That’s my emotional age at least. I mean, seriously, I don’t feel like a 44 year old at all. I have always been emotionally younger than I am. They wanted to hold me back in kindergarten because of that. Not that I was not academically a kindergarten but because I was emotionally delayed. I kind of like being emotionally delayed, though. Keeps me young at heart no matter how old I get. But the one thing I hate about my emotional age is that I am impatient and get frustrated easily. I mean, I am always getting frustrated! I say “Damn it!” like a hundred times a day LOL! That’s not very christian like. We are to have patience. That is one of the fruits of the spirit. But I just don’t have patience. I heard that if you pray to get patience, God will give you things that require patience. So I have stopped praying for that. But I do truly need to learn how to be patient. Even with the little things! In fact, the little things is what I struggle with the most. Like not being able to get a jar open. Or not figuring out how to put something together. Or even folding and putting away my laundry! I think that has to do with my emotional age more than anything and because I have ADHD. Well, maybe ADHD has a bigger part in this than I think. I am not medicated for ADHD, so I have no help in that regard. I just want to learn how to slow down when I do things. I am so impulsive. I want to do things really fast and I am starting school soon, so I need to be able to slow down. I try to listen to relaxing music to keep me calm and it helps for the most part, but not always. Impatience and Impulsivity are symptoms of ADHD and signs of immaturity. Sometimes I like it, sometimes I don’t. Anyway, patience is something I really need to learn and maybe if I was medicated I would have more of it. I don’t know. But I know patience is a fruit of the spirit and I want to be filled with the fruit of the spirit. Thanks for reading!